Why Santa, why? I have been sleeping, I have been awake, I have been good, not bad, so why for goodness fuck, Santa? I don't remember making any special Christmas requests for the Pestilence. Unless you confused "digicamu" with "I really really want 4 litres of mucus poured down my oesophagus". Santa, excuse my frankness, but you really need to get yourself a new pair of glasses.

Maybe we can make an exchange tomorrow morning while you're squeezing yourself through our air-con unit. Santa? Do we have ourselves a deal?