Little fuckers

In the past fortnight it occurred to us that we have a bit of a mice issue.

We have never seen one of these little fuckers. They make a hell of a racket in the kitchen at around 3am, and in the morning we discover a half-eaten banana (well, we reasoned, it was either mice, or Toshio had gotten himself a liking for bananas), but bugger me if the mice weren't fussy little shits - they left other fruit untouched! Don't they know that there are starving mice in Somalia? But if we hear 'em and dash out to catch them - nothing. Not a frikkin' peep. Phantom mice. Uh-huh.

The last straw came last weekend when I discovered hard little black pellets in my undies drawer. Not only are they pervy mice, they can't even crap like normal animals. They looked more like bullets than poop.

We washed all our clothes (no mean feat) and bought rat poison. Matt wanted to get rat traps but they didn't have the conventional, die-quickly traps, hell no, the new breed of traps are sticky surfaces which glue the mice onto the top, thus, they starve to death. I want these little varmints out of my house, but I don't want them to die painfully.

Well, they eat the poison on the first night but on the second night they don't eat the poison bags, but play hacky-sack with them in the kitchen, leaving them in the genkan (front shoe area) as a gift. They are toying with us, these mice. But there is no more poop and we haven't heard a peep for two nights.

I so empathise with Jeremiah on the mouse issue, but at least it hasn't gotten this bad:

"You see this is what the mice have done, and I have to be somewhat impressed by the intelligence they have demonstrated, they have pooped where I leave my dishes after I wash them to dry. Now I don't want mice using my clean dishes as a toilet. But I have nowhere to put my dishes. So the dishes have been left in the sink, dirty. Very clever, mice. Very clever. But I still have a few tricks up my sleeve. And it's Autumn, so my sleeves are about to get a little longer. Longer sleeves mean that I can shove more tricks in them. If I was the mouse that lived in my apartment, I would be very afraid. It is on, mouse."

It is On.