5 Reasons why it's Good to be a Gaijin

1. You can have light brown hair and no-one will wonder what shade of blond you've tried to dye it;

2. Petition collectors and porn advertisers on the street don't bother you;

3. You can open your door to the NHK man (the capitalist nazi who comes to pilfer your hard-earned 3,000 yen every few months for a supposedly "free-to-air" television channel - outrageous!) and pretend you can't understand what he is saying (we got out of paying for about 6 months using this technique, until one day Matt forgot that he "couldn't speak Japanese");

4. You can get a gig drooling on Katori Shingo's shoes during his late night "Bera Bera" program and get paid for it; and

5. You can spend 20 hours a week teaching English and get paid more than some Japanese who work 60 hours a week...