Down Wiz Za Ringo

Being an English teacher it is actually reasonably difficult to find opportunities to practice your Japanese. Company policy is for lessons to be conducted entirely in English, and even when you socialize with your students after an evening business class, you still feel compelled to use English with them at the izakaya, because you're still "the teacher".

So the best opportunity I have for speaking Nihongo is at Saturday afternoon basketball practice. For 2 hours the court is open to the public to shoot hoops, and I am usually the only gaijin there.

Japanese is relatively unique in that the more you learn, the more you realize that you have been speaking way too politely the whole time. To sound really fluent requires mastery of rough or informal grammar structures. The on-court Japanese is an interesting mix of American basketball phrases and informal Japanese sayings, interesting enough that I thought I should compile a list of "essential basketball Japanese", or baske no nihongo.

First there are the obvious words, katakana versions of things you would hear on an English-speaking basketball court:

Naisu shoo! (Nice shot!)
Naisu pass! (Nice pass!)
Goodo shotto! (Good shot!)
Ehh-ahh bo-ru! (Air ball!)
Good-doh job-bu! (Good job!)

But then there are some other phrases that can be thrown around if you really want to sound like a pro...

Yada! (That's no good!) - used when you are forced to match up against someone who is much taller than you, or if you just can't seem to hit any of your shots. Ikenai! is also a common way to express disgust at a situation.

Chikusho! (Ah crap!) - pretty much used in the same circumstances as one would use the likes of "Bloody hell!", "Bugger!" or some other expletive. Kuso! is a similar one that literally means "Shit!"

Oishikatta! (That was delicious!) - used when you have successfully pulled off a tricky move, such as a behind-the-back reverse layup or "swished" a three-pointer without it touching the sides of the ring.

Mazukatta! (literally, that tasted terrible!) - used in the opposite situation, when you have made a mistake. For example, missing an easy lay-up, or taking an ambitious three-pointer and missed the ring entirely.

Onegai shimasu (If you could be so kind...) - this phrase is used 50 times a day by Japanese, in all manner of situations when you are asking a favour at work, in a shop or at home. At basketball practice, it is used between team mates about to embark on a trip down the court (you change team mates every time because there are so many people, so it is like saying "Let's go!" to your new team mates).

Gambare! (Try your best!) - the Japanese equivalent of "good luck!" Another variant is Ganbaro! (Let's do our best!), used between team mates.

Zan nen! (Too bad!) - used to comfort someone who has just missed an important shot. Can also be used sarcastically, for example if your opponent just missed a shot.

Otsukare! (You've worked hard!) - this is an abbreviated version of the oft-heard otsukare-sama-desu, used between work mates or at the end of the day. Needless to say, basketball buddies are a lot less formal with each other, hence the shortening of the phrase at the end of practice.

Saikoh! (The best!) - this can be interpreted as cheeky bragging (I'm the best!) or as a compliment (You're the best!) with the subject being assumed from the context.

Sugeh! (Amazing!) - This is a gutter-version of the adjective sugoi, a word that is in close competition with kawaii! as being the most frequently uttered phrase in Japan*. You can use it to show how impressed you were with a move someone has pulled, or simply to express surprise at how many people have showed up today.

*Statement based on personal observation and not on any actual facts or, god forbid, any research.

Yoku yatta ne! (We did well, didn't we) - Also suitable as a compliment: You did well, didn't you?

Chanto yareh yo! (Do it properly!) - If your team mate is mucking about, trying to make their shots look more like an impression of Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's hook shot instead of actually getting the ball in the hoop, this will pull them into line. Another variation is Motto yareh! (Try harder!)

Saboru na! (You slacker!) - Another example of basketballers having tougher skin than most, saboru is the same word used when talking about skipping school. If someone is not pulling their weight, this phrase will let them know that it's time they pulled their finger out.

Gaman shiroh! (Put up with it!) - If someone complains about a sore ankle, or their team members, or whinges about anything then this will pull them into line. Literally, "Have some patience!"

And my favourite:

Majide? (You're shittin' me!) - Also usable off the court, majide is one of those words that rides the fine line between being rude and funny; officially it is swearing, but everyone uses it. If used loudly it can be similar to someone crying "Get the f*ck OUTTA here!" with a big grin. It is also flexible enough to be used both as a question and an answer. For example:

A: Majide? (F*ckin really?)
B: Majide. (Shit yeah!)