February 14, 2004
Love Yourself!
You may know that Valentine's Day in Japan, is essentially a patriarchal construct, when salarymen can soak in their own inflated self-importance (like they need a special day). Cynical, you say? Valentine's Day has traditionally been a capitalist's dream-day where scrappily paid Office Ladies/female employees bestow their bosses (and co-workers) with chocolates to say "Thank you! Thank you for overworking and underpaying me. I have soooo much to be thankful to you for".
Uh-huh. These chocolates are called "giri-choco" or "obligation chocolates", hardly romantic. My JTE tried to tell me these were called, in English, "pity chocolates". Whilst I found this hysterical, methinks she may have gotten the translation wrong. Of course, there is also the gooey, coupley tradition of women buying chocolates for their "men", but the "giri-choco" thang is one fuck of an institution.
BUT, the women of Japan have declared "Enough is Enough!" Whilst they still fork out god knows how much for that special boss, they are now buying chocolates for themselves to say, "Thank you! Thank you for being me! I am sooooo thankful to have you in my life!" That's right, love yourself!
While the latent feminist in me says, "You go go GO girls!" the cynic in me, so hard to quell, murmurs, "Aren't these women self-indulgent enough?" I mean, they get White Day as well, when women get elaborate gifts from their "loved ones", (although I wonder how much bosses actually fork out for this). Don't you just love the commercial ferris wheel?
I was a bit of a Valentine's Day Grinch before I met The Mister, couldn't stand the exploitative connotations that if you weren't in a "couple" then you didn't deserve a special day (erm, that could have been in years when I wasn't seeing anyone. Just maybe).
So I do like that women are buying chocs for themselves, but why do they have to wait for Valentines Day? For that matter, why does anyone have to wait for Valentine's Day? If you love someone, show 'em every day, dammit!
[Authors Note: I did get a beautiful bunch of red roses yesterday (and two yellow roses for each of us). Nyaaaaa. Commercial ferris wheel, hell yes, but the subscriber in me is guilty as charged. Personally, I blame this contrariness on my mother. When we were kids, my brother and I would give mum presents on Mother's Day; she would graciously accept them, then chide us and the world that "every day should be Mother's Day". Touche.]
Valentine's Day, for all its hoopla and commercialism, should be a day for love, not obligation...
$15 for 4 chocolates...
......much better value at $4
Do I sense a bit of "It's Valentine's Day, I want chocolate too!"? :)
Just kidding.
The horrible thing, at my job anyway, is that all the girls team up together to buy a little something for each guy (and something slightly more special for the bosses)... but on White day (3/14) each guy who received chocolate on Valentine's have to fork out individually for each of the girls.
Let's take for example a department of 10 girls and 10 guys.
Valentine's day: 10 girls team up and buy a 500yen present for each guy. 10 guys X 500yen = grand total 5000yen / 10 girls = 500yen spent by each girl.
White day: 10 guys individually buy a little something at let's say 400yen (gotta try to save a bit) for each girl. 10 girls X 400yen = total 4000yen spent by each guy, X 10 guys = 40000yen to the cookie & cream industry.
Whew...!
I'm lucky, there are only about 4 girls with who I work (vs. about 15 guys), so I can probably get away spending about 2000-2500yen.
I think Japan really needs to get a clue about Valentine's day and Christmas. :)
Hmmmmm, nice point. Yeah, I think girls get away with it pretty easy (they probably gang up with other girls cos they've spent all their money on themselves). BUT, I guess my point was (hard to determine among the turgid stream of consciousness, I know) that the *obligation*, be it from guys or girls toward people they don't really give a shit about is not what Valentine's Day was ever supposed to signify. That aspect is pure commercial, indulgent crap. White Day, Valentine's Day, whatever.
Sure, its commercial and induglent giving gifts to someone you love, but I just honestly don't get the falsely executed obligation thing.
what actually is the chap in the second photo holding - a Japanese version of the Big Issue?
You bet! Big Issue has just come to Tokyo, I think in the last couple of months. It started in Osaka last year, and has migrated to Tokyo. I buy it, although I can't read a damn thing in it (all in Japanese). I've seen about 4 or 5 guys at any given time in Ikebukuro. It's such a rockin' idea...
I love the idea of "giri-choco" or "obligation chocolates". In a spurt of romantic I bought a box of Lindt chocolate (long live the Switerland!) and offered them to my girlfriend. She promptly ate half the box (due to a job related mood dip) and then....
David www.geneva.ch.vu
Oh, but this is my point! Sudden romantic gestures are frikkin' fabulous! But that's *not* obligation! Giri-choco have nothing to do with romantic gestures at all! So your gorgeous gesture has nothing to do with "giri-choco". More like "rubu-choco".
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I believe that most Japanese OL think the same way as you do, but it is almost standard custom in Japan thanks to department stores and our elders who accept their strategy with no doubt. At school, it was a lot of fun to give a boy some choco, pretending that it was "giri-choco" even though I loved him. I was back then too shy to say that I loved him. Isn't it the very Japanese way of expressing love?
Outside the office, it might be a good way to say "thank you" as an indirect way to friends or father. (Don't blame me for not saying directly!
But at office, giving "choco" turns into the obligation to show our fake respect to the male boss we don't like....