Why 80-year olds shouldn't drive...

10 August 2007, 19:12

I’m cruising down Bell Street, a 4-lane, 70 kph main road in Melbourne’s inner northern suburbs. There are parked cars in the far left lane. I hate that far left lane ‘cos idiots cruise down it at 70kph, think ah shit, there are parked cars! and cut off whoever is thundering down the lane next to them. That’s what lead to my last bingle.

I’m in the second to far left lane and as I hit my 70 kph, spy a small car in the far left lane with its left indicator on. I assume he/she is going to park, but as I get closer, realise I can’t see a head in the driver’s seat. Little old lady, thinks I.

I slow to 60kph, and as I am about to pass, she (above assumption headily confirmed) decides to veer into my lane, with left indicator still on. I hit the brakes and thankfully miss her. Then a massive smack hits the back of my car and I see 4WD in rear view mirror. Expecting the worse, we examine the damage but not a skerrick. Surprised as shit as was massive smack with Toorak Truck. The silly old woman probably didn’t even 1) see me as she crossed lanes or 2) realise she’d caused an accident, as she was long gone.

I nearly dart up next lane to track down my mobile geriatric, but decide that my giving her a piece would probably give her a heart attack quicker than an accident would.

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